Damn is right.  (I heard your thoughts.)  This is what I saw in the mirror this morning when I awoke, after a big cry last night.  I took a picture to document the sexy metamorphosis.

I shared on The Bert Show this morning how, like most women, I have a good big cry every once and awhile and last night was that time.  When I went to bed I tried to use ice and a cold washcloth to keep the above from happening but my efforts were in vain.  So I asked listeners what remedies they use for these emergency situations.  Here is the list they came up with both on-air and via e-mail:

Cold Mayo

Cucumbers

Preparation H

Green tea bags

Coffee filter with the grounds still inside

Mary Kay Indulge Soothing Eye Gel

Garnier eye roller

Bath and Body Works Gel Mask

Take a cotton t-shirt and fold it in half.  Then make a peace sign with both hands and press the t-shirt to the corners of your eyes.  Then lean over.  It soaks up the tears.

Keep a couple of spoons in the freezer.  When you need them pull them out and put the spoon-side down on your eyes.

If you have more ideas let me know before I make a trip to Publix to stock all this in my cabinet or fridge for next *sniff* time.

The whole world knows Atlanta's own General Larry Platt after his infamous performance on "American Idol."  He even made an appearance at the Grammys last weekend.

His lyrics, of course, have to do with some guys who like to show their underwear while their pants sag.  This trend has even forced some schools and communities to consider rules banning the practice.

But despite the fact these guys don saggy pants in order to be cool, there is a debate on what true signal they are sending. 

There isn't much controversy on where the look came from - prison.  Since prisoners are not issued belts, and their pants aren't made to custom fit the incarcerated, their pants tend to be baggy and fall off.

The story goes further for some that it is actually a signal in prison for gay sex.  According author J.L. King:

Most of the guys said they were sagging their pants because it was popular but few knew that the "style" came out of prison as a means of brothers signaling that they were looking for sex.   

But Snopes claims it's false:

Regardless of what the meaning is, I agree with General Platt.  Put on a belt.

It seems like just yesterday when I made my New Year's Resolution for 2009 on "The Bert Show" to have my voice in a video game.  That's when Hi Rez Studios responded by giving me the honor of being in the game they were developing at the time, called Global Agenda.  I outlined everything from the initial invite, to wearing THE SUIT that put me in the game, to revealing my final character in the blogs "Eat My Virtual Laser" and "You Want Me To Wear What?" that you can check out below.

Now Global Agenda is now up and ready to play!  We had the Hi Rez folks in studio today (see below) to talk about the launch during our show, and I'll be doing a little giveaway on my Twitter account.  (@MelissaCarter) Now you can get in the game and come visit my character in the market area, where I'll be happy to sell you flair for your uniform.  But be careful....I may not like it if you don't make a purchase. *Bwahahaha*

Q100 listeners you get a SPECIAL DEAL on the game!  Click here to get your code before buying Global Agenda!

To read the blog, "Eat My Virtual Laser," click here...

To read the blog, "You Want Me To Wear What?" click here...

Bert Weiss, Daniel Lilleberg (Hi-Rez), Me (showing my character on my t-shirt), Michal Adam (Hi-Rez), Mick Larkins (Hi-Rez), Jeff Dauler, and Wendy Adams 

There was a full moon this week, and many times people blame that event on strange occurrences in their lives.  Now I'm starting to wonder if they are right.

Trying to be the good girlfriend, and utilizing my skills at planning ahead, I ordered Katie Jo's Valentine's Day flower delivery a couple weeks ago from an online florist I had not used before.  So imagine my surprise when I got an e-mail confirming their delivery...IN JANUARY.  Katie wasn't sure what to do with them, and wondered if it was a joke or my mistake, but watered them and put the display on her desk at work.  After a few harsh e-mails back and forth between me and the FlorisT anD a half-hour on the phone, they admitted it was their mistake and reluctantly refunded my money.

I was set to meet with a non-profit in town for lunch, since they wanted some feedback on an upcoming fundraiser.  I volunteered my time between the Bert Show and an afternoon meeting and headed to the restaurant where I arrived first.  I picked up a menu, sat at a table, and waited.  And waited.  For 30 minutes.  Salvaging the trip I grabbed some food-to-go and went back to work for the other meeting.  I later learned the person I was meeting arrived after I had left, and I'm still not sure why they were so late.

I made back-to-back doctor appointments since they were near each other.  The first visit was with someone new and one I expected to be a quick consultation.  I filled out the paperwork, donned a hospital shirt, and waited.  And waited.  I heard the doctor open every door in the hallway but mine and talk to every patient but me.  After nearly 2 hours, yes 2 hours, and well past my next appointment, I heard one nurse tell another in the hall that the doctor had not been in to see me yet.  The second reacted in surprise and came to tell me that I had been forgotten.  I at least appreciate his honesty.  I explained I was going to dress and try to save my next appointment.  They actually asked me to come back afterward to try and see the doctor then.  I did not return.

Individually these would not have been out of the ordinary, since things like a mistaken delivery or people running late can happen every day.  But to put them in a bundle makes you wonder if you've gone crazy.  And when you look up at the sky and see that bright lunar disc shining on your bizarre experience, you realize you temporarily are.  Or everyone else is.

People don't always believe me when I tell then that I was in a band back in 1977 and we played a sold out show at the Orange Bowl in Miami.

BUT IT'S TRUE.

Well OK that is not the whole story.  In 1977 I was a sophomore in High School and also in the Marching Band.  I know that makes me a band nerd but I fought the stereotype all I could.

My high school was among a BUNCH of high school bands asked to participate in the half time show for a University of Miami game and we got to go out on the field and play plus the game was sold out.

I don't remember a lot about that weekend except - The buses smelled, we stayed at a Holiday Inn and we partied at the IHOP after the show (I mean the game).  The reason I don't remember much is remember it was the 70's and I think a clarinet player had given me some Quaaludes.

Ladies, he has arrived at work.  The first legal gigolo in the country has started working at a brothel in Nevada.

The Shady Lady Ranch recently won approval for their so-called prosti-DUDE, named Markus.  He had his first appointments over the weekend.

Read more here....

If you were yawning like me this morning, after staying up late to watch the Alabama Crimson Tide beat the Texas Longhorns for the BCS Championship, you also saw the Gatorade Shower of Coach Nick Saban that almost turned into a tackle by the pouring players.

But when did this wet tradition actually begin?

According to Mental Floss, the origins of the Gatorade shower is up for debate but the one who gets the most credit is Jim Burt of the New York Giants.  He apparently had the idea for the prank while the Giants were struggling during the 1985 season.  Then head coach Bill Parcells had been on Burt before a game against the Washington Redskins, and when the Giants won that game Burt playfully dumped a cooler of Gatorade on Parcells.

Read more about who hated the tradition - and when it turned dangerous - here....