Coming Out Never Ends
Posted by Melissa Carter at 10/11/2007 3:06 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: coming out gay senior high school Melissa Bert Show Bert Show Q100 graduation lesbian high schools
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: coming out gay senior high school Melissa Bert Show Bert Show Q100 graduation lesbian high schools
Coming Out Never Ends
I've said many times on-air that coming out is a process. And I recently realized just how long that process can actually take. I talked about this last night at an Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce event, oddly enough for this topic, on the eve of the 20th anniversary of National Coming Out Day.
Next Summer is my...gulp...20 year high school reunion. And since I was Class President, it is my responsibility to organize this event.
But at this reunion, unlike at the 10 year reunion, I feel more pressure to be out of the closet. That's because at the 10 year, so many of my classmates were still single and no one seemed to be concerned as to why I had no wedding ring or wasn't flipping pictures of my potential children. I had also only been out to my family for a couple of years, so I hadn't developed my "sea legs" in living out and proud to everyone.
Since then I've been out and on-air as Co-Host of both The Bert Show in Atlanta and Twist nationwide. My childhood friends are likely married and have multiple children and will inevitably ask about my personal life. I want to be as I am here in Atlanta: unconcerned of others' prejudice and confident in how I live my life. But this is Columbia. The small town in Tennessee I left in order to live my personal life to it's fullest. And thinking of going back makes me feel as if I'm 14 all over again - nervous, self-conscience, and waiting to be accepted.
These are my childhood friends we're talking about.
Some may ask, "But don't they already know?"
Actually, no.
I came out to one close friend from Columbia while I was in college, and she is still a part of my life. I haven't kept up with neighborhood kids I grew up with, and realize being gay and not wanting to face their rejection has a lot to do with that.
Funny how that tightness-in-your-chest feeling at the thought of someone "finding out" never seems to completely go away.
But now it's time to start thinking about putting the reunion together, and since I am here in Atlanta, I contacted the bright young Vice-President of our class, Garland. He remains in Columbia, and through e-mail correspondence, he has taken the lead in getting the reunion together.
Then in one e-mail he mentioned he reads my blog....and then I knew.....that he knew.
Not being a teenager anymore and using my tactic of running away, I wrote the following e-mail:
Lord....you sure they're going to let "my kind" into the reunion? Now that I'm out on the radio, I'm sure plenty of townfolk know.... 
I hit send and thought, "This is it. Now I'll get a good idea of whether or not I'll be welcomed."
And the e-mail came in. I clicked to open it with nervous energy, knowing his response would either open the door to the possibility of cleansing the past....or slam it shut.
Garland wrote: If anything, they need to have a parade announcing your return. And if they say anything, I've got your back!!!
I don't know if I've received as meaningful an e-mail as that one. Thank you, Garland. You're still our bright young Vice-President.
So, the plans have begun for the Class of '88 to gather again as a group, and share our experiences while being away from for many was our first home. Until then, I hope to have the same experience with other classmates that I've had with Garland. That way I can truly go home again, and this time be the Melissa I hid so long ago.
To read about my High School Reunion Experience, click here.
To read about my High School Reunion Experience, click here.
Melissa,
I too am from a small conservative town in Tennessee. Just recently I attended my 10 year class reunion. All of the emotions that you talk about were also going through my mind. I had heard through some of the town gossips that everyone wanted to know if I was bringing a man or a women to the reunion. Who would of thought "my date" would have been the topic of conversation throughout the community?
Surprisingly, when I arrived at my reunion (alone) I was greeted with open arms by everyone. Sure lot's of people had questions, but I was just my usual self and everyone was very accepting.
My guess is that you were loved by everyone in High School (considering you are the class president). And, I am sure they still feel the same way regardless of your sexuality.
Good Luck! I look forward to reading your blog after the reunion.
H
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I just had my 20 year reunion. We never had a a 5, 10, or 15 year reunion, so I had not seen any of my classmates for 20 years. It was wild and beautiful.
Have a blast reveling in your friends and catching up on what everyone's been up to. Just be you.
Live Your Dreams,
Jill
Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker
http://www.GoalGuru.com
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I'm a huge Melissa fan and was thrilled to find that you keep a blog. Keep on keepin' on, I'm sure your former classmates will be proud. And if they aren't... well.. f*ck 'em.
Bwaaaaaaaaaaahahahah! Have a great day.
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