Enjoying The Slide
Posted by Melissa Carter at 1/16/2008 8:00 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: morning x gay Atlanta Bert Show Katie Jo kidney transplants Bert Show Q100 lesbian
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: morning x gay Atlanta Bert Show Katie Jo kidney transplants Bert Show Q100 lesbian
I know when we used to throw baby powder in the dorm halls at U.T. to go sock surfing I could always stop and go in my room. Not having solid ground to stand on was a sport. I suppose when we get older and focus on the risk of falling down it's no longer fun.
I tend to look at my life in 3 categories: Personal, Professional, and Health. And as long as two out of the three categories are stable, I can easily find peace or satisfaction with things. But if two or all three are out of whack I get overwhelmed and melancholy. I actually have a genetic disposition to depression, which I have to battle harder during times such as these.
First, let's talk Personal. Katie Jo and I have been together 2 years, and in the course of that time we have achieved with each other something we have not with anyone else. We've been together longer than any of our past relationships, our families have met and spent a holiday together, and we want to live together. But we are not on the same page on this issue for several reasons, and have to figure out where we should be as a couple and what we actually want in a longterm relationship. Thus, it has put a strain on us. We're currently living in a sort of Love Limbo, which feels as if my feet are sticking out from under my security blanket: It's there but I'm not 100% comfortable.
Secondly, my Profession. We have made the big announcement that Q100 is changing frequencies to 99.7, taking us from a 12,000 watt signal to a powerful 100,000 watt tower. It is an exciting time for us, but sacrifices had to be made in order for this to take place. The station that is leaving that frequency is 99X, my first radio employer here in Atlanta. As the "News Mama" behind-the-scenes of the Morning X, I would have never gotten to the position I am in today on the Bert Show had Leslie Fram not woken up sick in the late '90's with no one else to fill in for her on such short notice. (I swear no food poisoning was planned on my part.) She was one of the sacrifices of our recent transition, and to move into her physical seat in that studio next week is bittersweet. There's a part of me that will never feel worthy, and all of me will miss my and Leslie's bathroom talks every morning. Leslie, my mentor, is gone. And since I'm the only one on the Bert Show that ever worked at 99X, I keep this mourning to myself.
Now to my Health. As a kidney transplant recipient health and healthcare are always a concern, but fortunately my body is in great shape. There will always be my "kidney cocktail" of medicines I take twice a day and the side-effects that go with them: skin that breaks out when I breathe, hair that struggles to stay in my head and will never hold a style, and bones that have to be monitored due to steroid use. But it is far better than the alternative any day.
These situations may be unique, but the struggle of balancing everything so you can handle what's going on is not. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or how old you are. Everyone is simply trying to make the best out of whatever situation they are in, and still take the time to enjoy what's going on around them.
I suppose I just need to get my big girl socks on, stay out in the powdered hallway, and enjoy the slide.
These situations may be unique, but the struggle of balancing everything so you can handle what's going on is not. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or how old you are. Everyone is simply trying to make the best out of whatever situation they are in, and still take the time to enjoy what's going on around them.
I suppose I just need to get my big girl socks on, stay out in the powdered hallway, and enjoy the slide.
Loved your honesty about life and all it brings to us! Some days we do need to just get out there and enjoy the slide in our big girl socks. Other days we do well just to get up and go thru the day. And on others we sometimes just need to hole up somewhere until the day passes, knowing that the sun will come up again tomorrow and hopefully things will look and feel different, better, or something other than how they do at the present moment. As a famous, fictional southern character once said, "after all, tomorrow is another day"!
As for the idea of getting older and focusing on the risk of falling down whilst considering "sock surfing" in our very real and personal lives, I understand completely. And yet, I also find that when I allow that part of me that needs to weigh the risk to step onto center stage and be heard, it is then more willing to listen to the other part of me that needs to go sock surfing like we once did. Somewhere in the merging & negotiating between these two parts, I find a part within that knows how to allow for protection, growth, and freedom all at the same time.
It takes work & patience with myself, but the end result often brings me much joy, laughter, warmth, comfort, fun, peace, and deep tastes of freedom.
Cheers to grown-up sock surfuing!
And thanks for writing and reminding me about having that choice!!!
Hang in there, Melissa! After all...tomorrow is another day.
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I have felt the very same way - even putting "Life" into buckets (personal, career, home, etc) to see how balanced I am. For me I always know that when one of these buckets is totally empty (usually peronal/love life), but it makes the other ones stronger. For me it is a reminder that without some valleys how would we know when to enjoy the peaks? Good luck!
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You will always be my "News Mama."
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Melissa,
I just love reading your blogs. Your so honest and down to earth and it is rare thing to see from someone in the public eye as you are. Now I do have to hold against you the fact that you are a vols fan living in dawg country...hehehehe... Hang in there girl!!
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I loved this piece! It really puts everything in perspective; it's looking at your life as "half-full"... and even when it's truly "half-empty", fighting through it anyway! I have a saying like your "big girl socks"; I call it having to put on my "big-girl panties" when I have to do something I don't want to do but have to do. Your honestly is refreshing; best of luck in all three of your categories!
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I remember you from the old days of 99X.Guess I get to listen to you again,cool. Glad your well, Go Vols!
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Hi Melissa, What a beautiful piece. Life is full of ups and down and all we can do sometimes is strap ourselves in and hold our hands up for the ride.
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Melissa, congratulations on everything! You are awesome! See you soon.
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