From Clark Kent to Superman....In The Front Seat Of My Car

Posted by Melissa Q-100 at 6/10/2008 7:18 PM and is filed under uncategorized


Sometimes I do feel like a Superhero, where I have one persona in public and live a very different life behind-the-scenes.  Except with me, my "super powers" are displayed on air, while my awkward Clark-Kentish geekness is what life is like for me in my private life.

First, let me say what an honor it always is as a dj to be able to talk openly about my sexuality.  And whenever I get the opportunity to do so outside of the radio station, it is humbling.  That was the case on Friday, when Home Depot's Pride Network gave me the honor of speaking at their event.

The purpose was to share with the audience how I, as an openly gay employee, have found success in my career.  So, of course I had to spit-shine my image from my t-shirt, jeans, and Rainbow sandals in the studio to something more professional at Home Depot's corporate offices.

Just as Mr. Kent has to switch his outfit in a phone booth before being seen in his tights, my wardrobe change came in my hybrid SUV.  I brought my suit to work but decided not to change in the public bathroom, because I didn't want to completely shock my co-workers....or make them think I was going on a job interview.

When someone has to change in a car, the first thing that has to be done is find a secure location.  Mine was a hotel parking lot next to Home Depot's corporate building, but in a shady corner so that those in their room couldn't see my untanned parts through their hotel windows.  Then you have to scoot back your seat (after the odd second you forget where that scooting lever is) with the new shirt in your lap.  Women know how to take off the old shirt and slide the new one on in one fail swoop, slide the bra through the sleeve, change the jeans to the slacks without moving their upper body, and flip off the sandals into the floorboard for pumps.  I then combed the hair, smacked the lipstick, threw on my jacket, and was ready to go face the suits.  Or maybe the orange aprons in this case.

Walking confidently into the lobby, I greeted the security guard with an excited smile.  But I couldn't completely hide my awkward self since I forgot my picture ID, and had to make the shameless walk back to my vehicular closet to get proof of who I am.

But I got to the stage on time, and could now tell you all I talked about.  But I find it serves you best to instead read the official e-mail critique from Home Depot:

Our GLBT Pride Network Affinity Group had a rousing start to our "month of events" with guest speaker Melissa Carter, Atlanta's first (and only) lesbian DJ on the morning drive, Q-100.  Melissa shared her life story to an audience of 150 gay and straight associates in the Atlanta SSC Friday afternoon, June 6.  She asked for a show of hands on how many in the audience were straight - probably 80% of the crowd.  So the good news is - we are taking openly visible baby steps to diversity here at The Home Depot!
 
Bruce Merino, SVP of Merchandising, introduced Melissa and welcomed the associates to this event. Bruce is a 24-year veteran of The Home Depot and was our first associate hired for the Western Division.  He brought greetings from the executive leadership team at THD and represented that our leadership team is 100% supportive of all of The Home Depot's diversity initiatives and affinity groups.  "We recognized early in the Western Division that to be successful in the retail industry you have to mirror your community."
 
Melissa is a member of "The Bert Show" on All the Hits Q100, Atlanta's #1 morning show. She is also a DJ on Twist, a nationally syndicated radio talk and music show geared specifically to the GLBT market; aired Sunday evenings.
 
Melissa shared her life story; her journey from being a high school closeted teenager in a small town in Columbia, Tennessee to the "cool straight friend of gays" at the University of Tennessee to a successful "out" DJ in Atlanta, Ga. 25 years later. Each stage came with measured decisions on her part on how to handle being a lesbian. As a teenager in Tennessee she kept praying "god, please don't let me be gay". To come full circle, she is taking her partner Katie Jo to her 25th high school reunion this summer.  She related to the audience her experiences of "pre" and "post" being open and honest about her sexuality.  She spoke of the power of being out and open compared to being closeted. "When you are in the closet you are qualified to work for the FBI because you  become so good with secrets...keeping up with what you have told to whom; who knows; who doesn't; what people think; you become very good at lying and spying. And it is very exhausting."
 
Once in Atlanta Melissa eventually decided to come out; she first informed her family in Tennessee (and has not been disowned she said. She then volunteered to be the "winning date" for a gay date contest on radio 99-X, the first radio station she worked for in Atlanta. She related that she has had a good experience coming out and that her co-workers have been very supportive and accepting of her and her partner.  "I have been gay all my life" she told the audience, "and like many of your associates both here and in the stores who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender - they have too - they just don't always know it, or act upon it, or come out.  I challenge you as managers at The Home Depot to insure your gay associates have a good experience in coming out or being out. Be sure they are evaluated based on merit; not based on anything else. They should be promoted just like any other associate...on merit.  It is up to you to create a safe environment for them in their work life; after all, our work life is where we spend MOST of our time!!" 
 
Melissa gets fan emails from listeners and reports she has never received any "hate email" from fans regarding being a lesbian. It breaks her heart that she occasionally receives emails from teenage listeners who are struggling with being gay and not accepted by their families, reaching out to Melissa as a community leader and a friendly voice.
 
On the "glass ceiling for gays" she believes the ceiling is more associated with gender than sexual orientation. She encourages the GLBT community to be active in politics at all levels, not just national. "Know your local politicians; run for office; write articles; be heard - don't be visible".  She acknowledges the environment around gay marriage in Georgia and compared it to the environment around the illegality of inter-racial marriage 30 years ago. "They were making the same arguments about inter-racial couples - against the bible; wrong; not right....and look how far we have come on inter-racial marriages!"  She encouraged us to persist.

Thanks, Home Depot for the honor.  And thank you for keeping my other identity a secret.  (Pay no attention to the bra strap hanging out of my jacket sleeve.)

 

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