Eventually People Will Get It

I was one of many on the streets of Midtown Atlanta celebrating the election of Senator Barack Obama as President of the United States.  It was a moment that proved to all Americans that anyone in this country can be whoever they want to be.  It may take more effort for some, but nothing is impossible.  That is America.

So for the very next day the sad news that Proposition 8 in California passed, making same-sex marriage illegal once again there, was something that deflated the Obama energy for many.  For me, it forced a change of fate in a matter of minutes.

A story had been posted online on Election Night that reported Proposition 8 had NOT passed.  I can't recall the site Katie found, but I knew she had seen it since she - with a loving look in her eye - asked me to consider going to California and getting married.  

I texted my co-workers on Twist about Prop 8's failure, and they responded that they couldn't find the story and asked where it was.   I called down the hall from my computer to ask Katie for the site, and that's when she realized that initial story had been taken down.  The outcome had become too close to call, and Wednesday it was announced it had indeed passed.

And in the day everyone celebrated the victory of President-elect Obama and what it meant for the African-American community, the statistics came out that Blacks supported Prop 8 by 69%.  Yes We Can, but You Can't?

Coretta Scott King once said:

Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group.

We all have to get out of the habit of only fighting and being happy for ourselves.  I am so excited for the black community, and enjoy watching the look of disbelief, relief, and joy on the faces of Africa-Americans across Atlanta.  It is inspiring to see people visibly realize they are equal.  Finally.

I still believe that anyone in this country can be whoever they want to be.  It may take more effort for some, but nothing is impossible.  That is America.  And try as they might, those who try to keep people on an "us and them" measuring scale, you will fail.  America will make sure of that.
 

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  • 11/6/2008 1:40 PM Rebecca wrote:
    Melissa,
    I am so sorry about Proposition 8. I myself did not vote for Obama and was sad that he won, but I am saddened even more about the passage of proposition 8. I hope that as a country we can continue to make changes, and I would love to see you and Katie get married one day.
    Reply to this
  • 11/6/2008 1:50 PM Emily wrote:
    Well put Melissa! I spent the better part of my day yesterday (when I should have been working) watching the latest results come out of California. I kept hoping that something would change and somehow the people of California would show the country that everyone really does deserve equal rights. It was such a blow to see that there are still so many people who don't seem to care about our rights. After work, I had a conversation with my mother, someone who I thought was coming around on the issue of gay marriage. It got really heated when she tried to tell me that the sole reason she was against same-sex marriage was that it would too much of a financial burden on the government to have to provide the same benefits for same-sex couples as heterosexual marriages. I almost lost it! Here she was trying to tell me (her gay daughter) that the government should not have to provide me with the same opportunities as everyone else. It really hurt.
    I just wanted to thank you allowing all of your listeners a glimpse into the more personal side of your life. It helps to know that we are not alone and someone out there understands our struggles and is trying to make a difference. Thanks again, and keep the blogs coming!!
    Reply to this
  • 11/6/2008 2:17 PM Ashley wrote:
    I completely agree with you!

    When I think of the Democratic party in general, and why I LOVE being a part of it, three words come to mind: Diversity. Acceptance. Empathy.

    I, too, am so proud and happy for African Americans -- especially the older generation -- for what Barack Obama achieved. I certainly couldn't get through the night without tears streaming. I just wish that particular minority could have the same compassion when faced with this type of discrimination of others.

    My gf and I live in Atlanta and have been following Prop 8 religiously. In fact, my gf generously donated to the cause. Hearing that our own "brothers and sisters" (for lack of a better term) in the Democratic party played such a large role in taking away Gay and Lesbian rights makes me so sad and disappointed.
    Reply to this
  • 11/6/2008 4:25 PM Alden wrote:
    Yay Melissa! Does that mean you're engaged??? It will happen soon!
    Reply to this
  • 11/6/2008 6:27 PM Karen wrote:
    Hey Melissa, great blog.

    Looks like you need to take a trip to Canada or the UK.... although I guess that's not the point as you're relationship still won't be "recognised" in the US. Some day... some day.
    Reply to this
  • 11/6/2008 10:31 PM Barth wrote:
    If it was outlawed in California by the most liberal voting populus in the country, it sends a pretty strong message as to what most people think of the issue.
    I personally don't care if a man wants to marry his dog. It doesn't effect me. Let people do what they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
    I don't see why gays shouldn't be allowed to be just as miserable as the rest of us married stiffs.

    By the way, I'm not surprised at all that the African American population voted for Prop 8. Aside from social issues related to their own suffering (poverty and civil rights injustices specifically), I find black people to be extremely conservative and closed minded. They tend to be extremely pro-life and anti-gay in general. If the homosexual population is looking for an ally, your bretheren in the Democratic Party is probably not where you want to be looking.
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  • 11/6/2008 10:33 PM Karen wrote:
    I am neither African-American nor gay but I celebrate the victory of our new President Elect and all that that means to the AA community and equally mourn over the passing of Proposition 8.

    It is so unbelievably unfair that you are not given the same rights as heterosexuals - and I hope I live to see the day that all these laws are overturned and that homosexuals achieve the level of acceptance and equality that is deserved.

    Change is coming - I just wish it would get here faster :p
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  • 11/10/2008 11:37 AM KW wrote:
    Melissa, it is very unfortunate about Prop 8, having a close relative who is gay makes be feel sad about that, however it seems as you are blaming the black community for its passing. As with the General Election, a percentage of blacks voted, but the majority of America which is white is what helped Obama win. Same with Prop 8, you cannot make it as if blacks had voted differently the prop 8 would not have passed. You have to realize that for black Americans, religion is something that is held is the highest priority, and unfortunately there are those who may be accepting of all, which quite frankly black America is, they may feel that homosexuality is wrong, especially die hard christians. I honestly don't know much about how the opponents of gay marriage may have advertised but I have a feeling that religion was used as a way to convince people to vote in favor of prop 8. And what i find more disturbing is that I read an article this morning about white gays attacking blacks at the protest in California and calling them ni&^er, and saying things like it's all the ni$ers fault. That is appalling. I guest white racism exist even in the gay community, hoods came out before the rainbow flag. And I read in San Francisco that whites voted in large numbers to pass prop 8. It is a sad situation all around. I believe people should be able to love and marry who they want, just as I want a wonderful man to love and cherish me, I know gays and lesbians want a partner for the same thing. Maybe something will come about to change this, however throwing hate at black America is just as wrong.
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  • 11/18/2008 10:38 AM joy wrote:
    I am frustrated that people continue to point the finger at African Americans for the passing of Prop. 8 as though we are the ONLY people (group) that had a majority vote. Californians voted for Prop 8, not only black people, lay the blame where it belongs....on everyone (Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Jewish, Caucasian, straight, Asain, Hispanic, etc.) We are not the only ones who voted!
    Reply to this
    1. 1/7/2009 6:42 PM Adam wrote:
      While you are very correct that it too more than the African American community to vote for Prop 8, the point is the irony of it. For a group that has been suffered through so much hate and inequality to overwhelmingly support hate and inequality toward another minority is MIND BOGGLING. So if African Americans in California had voted logically, then Prop 8 would not have passed.
      Reply to this
      1. 9/21/2010 6:35 PM Roxie wrote:
        Adam, that simply isn't true. The black population of California isn't numerous enough to have made THE difference. Even if all of the black ppl who voted had voted "no" and everyone else's votes had stayed the same, prop 8 still would have passed.
        Reply to this
  • 12/3/2008 10:48 AM Reader E wrote:
    Thank you KW! I second your thoughts. Melissa I love you but I think this post did seem to be blaming prop8's passing on African-American people. I've heard, not just you Melissa but sooo many people have also said similar things in the media and personally. I think it's incredibly unfair that Black people are being blamed when they only account for 6% of California's population. Although I'm a lesbian and not a gay man, allow me to quote one of my favorite blogs from an educated,awesome black,gay man living out loud with darian, "While black voters played a role in the success of the amendment they surely had some help and were not alone in their homophobia and religious bigotry."
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