It May Be The Cycle Of Life....But Sometimes It Makes You Motion Sick
Posted by Melissa Carter at 1/12/2009 9:49 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay Mom Bert Show cancer surgery my Mom caretaker Bert Show Q100 lesbian Dad
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay Mom Bert Show cancer surgery my Mom caretaker Bert Show Q100 lesbian Dad
My mother, Millie Pete, has to have triple-bypass surgery. The fact her heart is sick is not a shock, but the extent of the surgery is.
And so it goes, when the children start taking care of the parents. My father got sick in the early 00's with terminal cancer and my mother and older sister were his primary caretakers. Now it is up to my sister, brother, and me to take care of Mom, regardless of how successful or not the surgery is next week.
That is the Cycle of Life, but there is anxiety that comes with it. Of course you don't want to see your parents get older and weaker. More importantly, you don't want to see them die, and their ailments tend to remind you that dreaded day is closer than ever before. And despite similar DNA, each sibling handles the situation differently than the other which results in your having to handle your parent's dependency on you alone at some level.
I can't speak for my siblings, but I can speak to how I feel about Millie Pete's surgery. I have two different reactions at the same time. Having gone through my transplant surgery, I'm not intimidated by her's, since I am constantly amazed at how modern medicine can sustain life. She and I also talked about having no regrets about our relationship if the worst happens.
But my other reaction is one of anger. Anger that we don't have the intense feelings of love and dedication to others until we're on the verge of losing them. Anger that time can't just stand still for awhile when things are going really well. That bad times seem to be around the corner and last longer than the good. But of course, everything I've said is perception, and the anger should be directed at me for not allowing my life to be more balanced and light.
I do believe in the power or prayer, and am not afraid to ask for anyone willing to include Millie Pete in their's. Thank you for that and your continued support in the challenges I choose to share on air.
Melissa,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom's heart problems. I will definitely keep her in my prayers and I'll spread the word to get the good ole southern prayer chain started. I totally relate to your situation and will keep you and your siblings in my thoughts and prayers too.
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Melissa,
I will keep Millie Pete in my prayers and hope for the best. My mom just got through a double mastectomy for her breast cancer and I felt the same way you did about the anger of closeness coming almost too late. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Melissa,
Hugs to (((((Millie Pete,Melanie,you and your brother))))).Prayers too,for Millie Pete and all those that love her.
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I am sorry your mom is in need of bypass surgery. FWIW, I have been in your shoes a bit... my dad had an emergency quadruple bypass 17 years ago. While he was younger then than your mom is now, it was incredibly scary and difficult.
I will keep Mille Pete in my prayers- that her surgery goes perfectly, that her recovery is relatively easy, and that the surgery buys her many more years of closeness with you and your sibs
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You can count me in on that prayer chain. You know I believe in MIRACLES!! LOVE YA! Aurea
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Melissa,
Sorry to hear about Millie Pete.
My wife right before Christmas had what we thought was a heart attack. The hardest part for me was not knowing whether things were going to turn out ok or not.
I know its been a few days since you posted your comments, but my prayers are with your mom (and you).
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Melissa, My Farther had the same procedure and he's fine now. They have come along way. I will pray for you and your family.
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Melissa - My prayers are with Millie Pete and your family. God is amazing. He will be watching over her and will guide the surgeon's hands. My God be with you and your family.
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