Gender-Bending With Everyday Products
Posted by Melissa Carter at 8/1/2009 1:46 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay lesbian testosterone Bert Show Q100 gender identity Bert Show Melissa
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay lesbian testosterone Bert Show Q100 gender identity Bert Show Melissa
Yes, I'm a lesbian. But contrary to popular belief I have a very girlie side. I love spas despite the fact my feet are too ticklish to order their pedicures. I wear polish on my nails, treatment in my hair, make-up on my face, and love funky accessories when occasion calls for it. I can work an evening gown as well as a pair of designer jeans, which I own a few pairs of. I have more shoes than I need. And my credit card collection includes plastic from three clothing stores. So when it comes to my sexuality my being all-woman is not in question.
It's my cart that gender-bends when I'm at the grocery store.
You see, it's been my experience that just because it has a pink label on it doesn't make it the best product. And this was made perfectly clear to the woman checking me out at a Kroger in Nashville.
I had traveled to Music City for a radio convention, but since Millie Pete lives there I decided to stay with her instead of with other dj's at the hotel. On the road, however, I realized I had forgotten my razor and decided to run into the grocery store near her house to pick one up.
Little pink razors are a pet peeve of mine. I still have a scar or two on my legs from my teenage hands experimenting shaving for the first time with these cheap little weapons of torture. As I grew older and paid more attention to the seemingly scientific methods used to create men's razors I decided to try one, and have used them ever since. Men have less space to shave, but the efforts used to make sure that their hair is abolished with the least amount of effort has served me well.
*Ching* In the shopping cart it goes.
I also cannot dry shave, and quite honestly lose my shaving place in the shower if I use soap on my legs. Shaving cream in the sink allows me to landscape my legs much like a mower does the yard - there are clear cut signs of where one has already been.
*Ching* There goes the shaving cream I found next to my testosterone razor.
I am a kidney transplant recipient, and the side effects of the necessary medications that goes along with it vary from person to person. My issue is sensitive skin, especially in the Summertime. So, I'm putting it out there, I have to use aftershave on my pits since lotion is not enough to thwart the itching.
*Ching* Aftershave.
I rolled my goods to the Express Lane for a quick check-out and as I placed these few items on the beltway I realized how masculine my purchase was. Then my mind raced as to what Ms. Kroger Check Out Lady would think, as well as every other patron that was sure to take a few seconds out of their busy day to pay attention to what this visitor was buying in their store. Sure, some may think I am dating or married but there is a cell or two in every gay person's brain that panics at the thought of someone finding them out.
Even when you broadcast your lesbian voice on the airwaves of Atlanta.
Why did I care so much that the only items I had were products for men? Why did I even think anyone would care or even assume I was using the products? Why should I care if I use men's products?
Our society is based on distinct gender roles. Baby boys wear blue and baby girls wear pink. Little boys are rough and tumble, while little girls host tea parties for their stuffed furry friends. Men wear suits. Women wear dresses. Men shave with razors whose commercials show them fulfilling their need for speed with a Mach-like rush in their bathroom. Women in their razor commercials look as if they are about to reach orgasm from the experience of shaving in the bath, legs extended in the air as they remove their sexy hair.
There is a pressure on men and women to fit into these gender roles, and if you are gay the sensitivity to that pressure seems to intensify. If I were straight and said I use men's products the response might be indifferent. But as a lesbian someone may say well, of course she does.
Despite the insecurity I pulled out my wallet to pay for my purchase. Oh, god. The wallet.
Katie and I were in New Orleans on vacation last month, and I needed to find something small that could easily hold my credit cards and fit in my work bag as well as a purse. We were walking through a flea market and I found the solution - a wallet. No, not the checkbook length carry-all for women that snaps shut. I'm talking a small eel skin wallet that conveniently holds 9 credit cards and cash.
So here I am with a triple-level razor, green gel cream, electric blue athletic aftershave, folding wallet, and ready to get the hell out of there. As if the entire store had stopped what they were doing to stare at me, I quickly grabbed a Dove chocolate bar and threw it's estrogen in the mix. Seems I still have to work on my total self-acceptance and care less about other's perception of me.
So yeah, I buy male-oriented products. So what? I just have to find a cute clutch to put my man-wallet in and a fragrant soy candle to cover the smell of aftershave in my bathroom.
Dont stress it. I have learned not to care. Like when I bought tons of beer and wine for a party and lots of batteries since they were on sale. I was with my girl friends and I can just imagine what the 16 yr old boy checking me out was thinking!! I laugh and joke about stuff like that. Besides- mens razors work better but female shave cream works better. My husband and I both shave with mens razors and mango shave cream
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this is why god created the self-checkout. but if you get to the store after-hours and the self-checkout is closed, you're outta luck. i'm all up on the men's razors too, but i do use girly shave gel.
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Dear Melissa,
Dont sweat it girl. I use a man's razor too sometimes mens shave gel sometimes ladys. I havent needed the aftershave though.
A friend carries a mans wallet, it was her grandpa's.
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Girl!! Your mind must've been TIRED after that checkout line. But, we've all been there. And it's funny as hell when we're telling it afterwards!
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not really related, but funny and sadly true: when my office was moving into our new building my coworker and had to run to Wal-Mart for some random supplies for various projects. Our shopping cart included two plastic shower curtains, some duct tape, a hack saw, a hammer, and M&Ms. We decided to use the self-check out that day.
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Melissa,
Thank you for sharing! You just turned me on to buying men's razors! I have never thought about it before, but I'm giving it a shot. And I've been told what others think of me is NONE of my business. Take care.
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I'm glad to know I'm not the only lesbian in the world with these feelings. I also shave with a man's razor and shaving gel and I also have a wallet. I too have a very "girlie" side and get the looks all time. Now I will forever rememeber this story and feel less alone standing in the line when I buy the silky men's boxers too.
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Oh I am soooooooooo in the same boat as you. We're practically paddling together. Soap washes away to quickly and I already don't grow hair on my legs like "normal" people. My hair grows in patches on different areas. NEVER on the back of my legs. Shaving cream gives me gridlines to follow so I'm not shaving thin layers of skin off trying to get these frickin hairs.
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