I Lie About My Hump Island
Posted by Melissa Carter at 6/23/2010 5:00 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Lucy Lawless Kate Mulgrew Bert Show Hump Island Melissa
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Lucy Lawless Kate Mulgrew Bert Show Hump Island Melissa
For those who are unfamiliar with Hump Island, it is a list of celebrities you would be with in the "Biblical sense" - or take with you to Hump Island - and get a pass from your significant other. The idea, of course, is that there is no way you will ever have a shot with them so fantasizing about being with these celebrities is cute in a pathetic way to your partner.
Occasionally on the Bert Show we'll talk about who is on our Hump Island and names like Megan Fox and a Kardashian sister will certainly come up. However, I feel an intense pressure to list so-called relevant actresses like a Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johansson for the sake of entertainment and to show our audience that I am in touch with modern trends - but my heart belongs to another group of women.
You see, I like older women. Always have. And now that I am 40 those women are much older than the 20-somethings parading around our movie screens. But I lie about my Hump Island on air so I don't get crap from everyone and get called old myself.
But if I were to be honest about who I would gladly sip from a coconut with on my imaginary coast, names like Kate, Lucy, and Diane would be on my list. They are women I've had crushes on for awhile and still prefer today, since I honestly think they have grown more beautiful.
Among other signature roles, Kate Mulgrew played Captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager, Lucy Lawless was Xena: Warrior Princess, and I was first introduced to Diane Lane in The Outsiders and have stuck with her ever since. And when placed next to the aforementioned young'uns, I would pick these women every time. Even when I was a young'un myself I looked to women of other decades for goosebumps and blushes.
At least Katie Jo, who is ironically younger than me, knows I'm not the type to trade her in for a new model as we grow older. And the joy for me will be to see her get better and more attractive as the years go by.
I WILL NOT feel guilty as I put this book down.
I am straight and I loved Diane Lane in The Outsiders! She was even better in Unfaithful.
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Great list! Lucy Lawless is a total dreamboat! I'm 25 and am in LOVE with her. Totally coming to my Hump Island haha.
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Love me some Diane Lane! If you havent seen UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN, it is a must!I have two ladies on my list. Her and Pink.
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Did you read my mind? Love Diane Lane & Lucy Lawless - wow, that accent! I'd add Sofia Vergara to this list!
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Now there's an iPhone app called Hump Island! It's really cool and let's you pick your own people and share with others (Facebook, Twitter, email). Love it!
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