The Transcript
Posted by Melissa Carter at 6/29/2010 9:12 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay Bert Show Q100 Jeremy Melissa
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: gay Bert Show Q100 Jeremy Melissa
I have been humbled by the response from listeners regarding my stream-of-consciousness reaction to Jeremy's story on Monday. Today Jeff was kind enough to send me a transcript of what I had to say. Good thing, since I was so in the moment at the time of my outcry I had a hard time recalling everything I expressed. I wanted to share the transcript with those who either missed it or wanted to read my message, sans the tears:
Bert is always talking about how he didn't have a family experience like he should have. So he says it's up to him to break the cycle, so that he doesn't have to do this with his own children. And to me, if you're listening and you're straight, if you're listening to me and you're a church leader, if you're listening to me and listening to Jeremy's story and you feel bad at all, then let's stop the cycle. Let's stop it. What more do we have to say? I mean, what more do we have to show? We don't need to treat each other this way.
If you're a church, reach out and tell people we are gay friendly, and you are welcome here, and our whole congregation is going to teach you that God is about love. And if you're straight, then you love your children. I'm happy for Jenn. I'm happy for Jenn to be engaged and to marry Grant. But I've been with my girlfriend nearly five years, and I cannot get married, because it's the same crap that Jeremy is going through. And it makes me sad, and gay people ... we are sad so much of the time. And we're unhappy, and we're hiding, and we're always laughing when people makes some stupid comments about gay people, or gay jokes or whatever, and we just laugh and we smile.
But it's not funny.
This is not funny, this is our life. And sometimes you just get so tired. And I'm sorry for Jeremy and all of the people out there like this. I'm so tired of hearing these stories and seeing people hate each other. Just stop, stop. If you're a church, stop it. For God's sake, stop it. If you're a parent who is embarrassed because your child is gay, stop it. It just makes me so mad and I'm sorry to get so emotional and so mad about it, but everybody just stop it. Let me get married, let me have a child and be okay. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel bad for Jeremy because he doesn't know what to do anymore. Yes, he did the right thing but he has to spend the rest of his life without his family.
Why? Because you think you've read something in the Bible that said to hate us? Then you are the one that is going to be judged, not me. Not me, because I have lived my life honestly and I have lived my life in love and I've loved the people I'm with honestly. It just makes me so mad, it just makes me so mad because when are we going to stop this? When are we going to stop this?
Pervert? A grandmother ripping a child out of his arms? Every gay person listening right now that is crying who is in the closet understands this. There are times that I'm tired, and then people say it's so important for you to be on the Bert Show and the say what you have to say. But whenever we're not on air anymore what is left? There's no other gay DJ coming on and being proud of themselves. Everybody's hiding. It's because people hate them and it's because people do this to people like Jeremy. Anyway, I don't know what else to say, because I feel like - aren't you paying attention?
Then just stop it, you know, just stop it. Let me go to a church. We're still trying to find a church for our family and we want to be a part of a church that loves us and we don't have to feel so self-conscious in there and ... I don't know, it's so frustrating to hear these stories.
I'm so glad I'm part of the people I'm in the room with because they have always made me feel just like them, and they are in here making surprising responses to Jeremy and I have always been proud of the people on the Bert Show, and the staff of the Bert Show. I wish everybody could work with people like I work with, and I wish everybody could be surrounded by family that I'm surrounded by.
But they're not, and it's up to us to make sure that they can be.
To hear the audio of Jeremy's story, click here.
To read Rodney Ho's article in the AJC, click here.
To see my Summer Reading List, click here.
really?I am a woman I havnt had to announce I am a gay.If you would just be who you are and not try to make your sexuality a talking point or a political one for ratings no one woud give a dam
It is not your mothers genertation where it is a shock that you are gay.
Be yourself and enjoy your life.
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Melissa, thank you so much for being brave enough to stand up. I can't imagine how tiring it must be for you to be fighting all the time, but as someone much smarter than I am once said, "All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
I am a ministry wife, and a devout Christian and I join you in your plea for the madness to stop. Jesus had a lot to say about hate but not one word about homosexuality. Not one. Which tells me what I need to know.
I know it's not easy. Keep your head up and be proud of who you are. And if you want to send me an email, I can invite you to my church. I can't promise that every single person that comes in the door is going to be pro gay, but I can promise you that my gay friends there, the gay board member, and the lesbian coupe with their little boy feel comfortable there and I'd bet you would, too.
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Love you, love the Bert Show, and THANK YOU for this.
Sharing it everywhere because you know what? This is important. And I share important things.
Waiting for the day when you and your girl can announce your engagement.
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Melissa,
Thank you once again for saying what a lot of us (apparently not including Kate above) feel. I am fairly lucky in my job as well that I don't have to hide, but I know we are in the minority. It does make a difference to a lot of us that you are open on the radio. It's nice to be represented so well by someone.
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I think for those that struggle with the "morality" issue need to remember that it is not our place to judge ANYONE. We accidentally outed my aunt to my sister (she knew but it's just not talked about in our southern baptist family) and she struggled with it. I explained it like this....you can disagree with the issue and still love the PERSON. I think this goes for a lot of things, we get so wrapped up in labels that often you miss a chance to meet a wonderful person simply bc you wouldn't give them a chance bc of YOUR issues. I think the world would be a much better place if we all just got to know each other without labels for what kind of person they are.
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Melissa,
Thank you for sharing your heart felt thoughts about the situation with Jeremy.
I listened to his experience online, but was not able to hear your response until now, reading it.
I am not gay, I am straight. I have a number of gay people in my family on both sides, mom and dad. I have seen what families do to their gay relatives, and it is sad.
When one of my male cousins came out, everybody had something negative to say or some stupid joke to tell. The first thing I thought is "This is my cousin, I grew up with him! He is like a brother, just because he is gay does that discount all of the fun and wonderful memories I have? Just because he is gay does that mean we can't laugh about he and my sister having stupid walk races and playing marco polo in the lake? Does this void all of the feelings I have for him and my hope that gay or not he has a wonderful happy life? Does his being gay make his love for me and my well-being less? Is that what God would think?"
My answer to all of those questions? NO!
He is your cousin, love him, not for who he sleeps with, but for who he is.
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Dear Kate,
Your self hatred is sad and pathetic. Are you suggesting that if we Gay's just keep our mouths shut and stop sharing information about our REAL lives all will be fine?? Hmmmpff... REALLY? and for your information people really DO give a dam. Did you even hear what was said on the radio? Did you read the above content? How could you be so cold to not be moved even a bit? Melissa is a positive voice for our community and we STILL NEED A VOICE! There are still terrible things happening to our Gay brothers and sisters emotionally and physically so Clearly sexuality does need to be a talking point. We are you teachers we are you doctors we are your police we are mothers, fathers and even Radio Hosts. WE ARE EVERYWHERE! I shall not be quiet for you dear Kate. Your "Quiet" ignorance must be bliss. You have every right to keep Quiet about your sexuality. Just keep your mouth shut about me or others opening theirs. We are after all just trying to open up minds. Thank you Melissa for just being you xoxo
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Hello Melissa.
I was very proud of you for the way you shared your feelings. This hit so close to home with me on many levels that you have no idea. When I came out 18 years ago, the only time I had any family come visit me was when I flew my parents to my graduation from medical school. And even then, they didn't want to come. Life is tough enough as it is. After I lost my partner of 8 years, I had no condolences from my family. It hurts but it is sad the way shallow minded people are who are not educated and use the name of God for all the wrong reasons when it comes to their gay and lesbian children.
I am glad that I got to know you last fall. Have to show you the Halloween pictures.
God Bless you and your family and KatiJo!!!
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I copied your link on my facebook page and got this from a friend. wow!
http://cometochristchurch.org/cec/blogs/post.aspx?id=70
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Thanks so much for advocating about our community, as a mother of a 5 year old daughter and now my wife is pregnant with our 2nd child it scares me to know that there is still hate in this world. As a business owner fighting for gay rights for close to 20 years it's a blessing knowing that there are others in the world that will stand up & speak out continuously in a positive style...Thanks Melissa..
Marci Alt
Publisher
Atlanta's Gay Community Yellow Pages
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I was overwhelmed not only for Jeremy, but for you as well. No matter what I have had to go through personally, with all the hatred and such, I cannot imagine being a public figure and having everyone attack you or put pressure on you to be a voice. Although I cannot understand what that must feel like, I appreciate what you do. Beyond words. Thank You!
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Oh, and I grew up right here in the Bible belt and have had my share of religion. The thought of going to a church physically made me sick. I swore I would never go again, that I was just happy being spiritual and didnt need a building. Well one kept being suggested to me (over 5 years) even by strangers. Unity North Atlanta. It is a Christian Church that truly accpets everyone. The first day I went I saw Muslim people, Jewish, old and young. I put my arm around my partner without thinking and felt loved even more for doing so. We were accepted by EVERYONE not by just a few people. Nor have we been singled out for being gay. They see ME. It is about love, not fear. I wish more people and churches were like this.
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God's love belongs to everyone. I'm fortunate to pastor a United Methodist church that really believes this. We are Saint Mark United Methodist Church at the corner of Fifth and Peachtree Street in Midtown Atlanta. On Sunday 80% of the congregation in attendance is gay. We are men. We are women. We are married, we are single. We have kids. We have pets instead of kids. We are in recovery, we are still struggling. We are straight, we are gay, we are transgender, we are all races. We are waiting for you to come to us so that we can love you in the name of Jesus Christ. If you don't come to us, or if you come to us on a Sunday on which we are not living up to our loving potential, I beg you to continue traveling from church to church until you see the face of Christ in those who greet you. Then you will have found your church. God bless all on the journey.
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